One thing my wife and I enjoy most about serving at Lancaster Baptist Church is leading the “First Love” Connection Group for young couples. Connection Groups structurally as a place where guests and members can connect with other people in their life-stage. Scripturally, the Connection Group helps us to fulfill the Great Commission by reaching people, teaching people, and ministering to people. It is a wonderful place to grow together and serve the Lord.
I truly believe God has given us a special small group. I’m constantly amazed by their diligence, friendliness, and most of all their sacrifice in going the extra mile in so many ways. It’s always a joy to see our members serving in other areas like ushering and discipleship or to hear someone praise the growth of a new Christian in the class.
The key to a Connection Group, though, is a connection, not content. Do you see how the emphasis changes from a typical “Sunday School” model where “students” come to be “educated” focusing on the importance of content delivery? Connection, on the other hand, focuses on relationships.
The best way to begin building relationships with new members and visitors is to simply have a friendly, welcoming small-group environment. This seems simple enough, but it is so easy to unknowingly portray indifference and even judgment.
Whether or not you think you’re friendly and welcoming makes little difference if they don’t think you’re friendly or welcoming.
Here are ten simple ways you can develop a friendly environment in your Connection Group.
1. Open the door.
If they have to open a door to enter your classroom, you’ve already set up a psychological barrier to your class. A closed door communicates a closed group. If you prop it open, you subtly communicate that anyone is welcome to enter.
2. Play energetic music in the background.
Choose some good, energetic, and positive music to play in the background as people enter and fellowship. I personally like to play some of Greg Howlett’s piano and orchestra music. Silence can create an awkward environment for new people. You want people to feel excited and energized.
3. Assign friendly people to stand at the door and greet.
This is crucial. An unfriendly, uninviting face at the front door might encourage guests to keep walking. Teach this person to smile, greet everyone who walks by (regardless of age or life-stage), and to compel people in your age group to come in. This greeter should “pass off” first time guests to someone inside rather than just greeting them as they enter the unknown.
4. Have an attractive and generous refreshment table.
Good food and GREAT coffee go a long way in a connection group. But if the pot looks like you found it in a dumpster, the tablecloth looks like it’s been used for five years, and the refreshments are carelessly placed wherever…I think you get the idea. Spruce it up. Add some frames with inspirational quotes. Use vibrant colors on your tablecloth (obviously, so much of this is specific to my context, but I hope you sense some application).
5. Have an attractive and up-to-date bulletin.
You may not use a separate bulletin for your class, or perhaps you don’t call it that. In any case, have some method of communicating activities, birthdays, anniversaries, a “thank you” for those who provided refreshments, a prayer list, etc. Make sure this is something they can take home. Nothing screams “friendly” to a visitor than seeing a list of activities indicating that these people actually have fun. Engaging the class on social media is an obvious and useful approach as well.
6. Avoid “grouping” before class.
It is inevitable that people in your class will want to take to specific other people as they fellowship (this is a good thing since that means there are friendships forming). However, some people in your class (Care Group Leaders, etc.) who should be taught to be aware of people in the class who are alone. Teach them to go out of their way to engage visitors in conversation.
7. Train class leaders to greet first-time guests, fill out connect cards, and sit with them.
As I mentioned, the greeter should introduce first-time guests to someone inside the class. That person should learn about the visitor, introduce them to others with similar backgrounds or interests, explain to them what to expect during class, and help them fill out a connect card (visitor card). Sitting with them avoids the tendency to always sit in the same place which creates an unwelcoming “new-person” zone in the classroom.
8. Allow plenty of time for fellowship and mingling throughout the class.
This is where you really distinguish your connection group from the worship service. If your class is a mini-church service, why should they go to that AND the worship service? Free coffee, maybe. Encourage there to be organic, unstructured times to talk, fellowship, and just enjoying each other’s company. Once a month, we do a “care group breakout” where members of the smaller care groups within the connection group huddle for a time of prayer and communication. This ensures that everyone knows their care group leader. It also allows every single person to have the opportunity to mention a prayer request or to communicate with the others. Remember, the bigger your connection group grows, the more difficult it is to include everyone.
9. Use a teaching style that encourages questions, conversation, and discussion.
I will emphasize again: if your connection group always feels like a mini-church service, they have very little reason to attend both your class and the service. Build in discussions, ask questions that elicit a response, allow members to ask questions as you teach. This also means you need to choose a curriculum that is relevant and practical. I’ve had newer members stop me to ask what a word I used meant. Obviously, my lesson would be worthless to him if they didn’t know what I was talking about.
10. Host first-time guests to the worship service.
Nothing creates discomfort like uncertainty and confusion. If your worship service follows your connection group time, assign a class member to walk with the visitor and sit with the visitor in the worship service. Don’t let them feel like they’re on their own once class dismisses. Especially in a large church like ours, visitors don’t know if there are “customs” to follow, places they should or shouldn’t sit, or what to expect in the service. All these help guests feel confident and enjoy the experience.
Developing a friendly class requires intentional training and leadership. Retaining guests and increasing the faithfulness of your members depends on their having something to look forward to every Sunday.
What are some ways you, as a connection group leader, create a friendly environment? IF you’re a connection group member, what are some specific things you enjoy each week in your group? Comment below to share your ideas!
Thank you John for putting this info out! It is very helpful.